I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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