u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
