So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
