My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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