what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
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