he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize