My nipple is on Facebook.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
My pussy is not your playground.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
