She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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