I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
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do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
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Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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