Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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