my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
