Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
