The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
