wakey wakey hands off snakey
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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