We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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