PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Randomize
