Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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