I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Randomize
