this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
