You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Randomize
