She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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