definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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