Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
