grandma shit on top of the toilet
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
