Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
