Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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