what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
