We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
