I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
