We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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