I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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