I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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