i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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