I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
