At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
