This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
