Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
