I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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