I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
