Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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