I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize