well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
