LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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