I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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