I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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