I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
