why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
