I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Randomize