The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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