she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
