the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I want her autograph on my taint
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
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