Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Well I just put wine in my tea
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
