How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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