He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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