let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
