I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
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