Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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