if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
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And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
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You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
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