if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Randomize
