im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
