Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
