I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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