at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize